It’s been awhile since I’ve written, since I’ve had the energy to put fingers to keypad, somewhat like pen to paper, but probably less therapeutic and romantic, and felt like I had anything to write about. As per usual time ran away with itself and I blinked and all of a sudden it was the 1st January 2017!
I spent New Year in Vancouver, Canada with some friends and it was pretty epic. While I was there I spent a lot of time with an old pal, Beanie, who had moved to Vancouver about 5 years ago. We had kept in contact over the years here and there but it was great to spend time with her again and rekindle such a fun friendship. One of the many things that we talked about over a drink (or two) was the future and what it had in store for us and how wouldn’t it be great to just be able to look through the window at life in five years time and see who’s sat round the table with us.
One evening Beanie introduced me to numerology and life cycles and on a jet lagged morning while i lay wide awake at 5am I did a bit of googling…
So, numerology deals with the significance of the numbers in our lives and those around us. Now I’m not pretending to be an expert, and I’ve only really looked into my own life cycle so don’t take this as bible.
In numerology one of the line of thoughts is that we all go through a nine year cycle continuously and once a nine year cycle is finished, a new one begins.
To figure out where you currently are in the cycle all you have to do is write down your birth day and the month of your birthday and then the current year and add all the digits together until you get to a single number.
For me, my birthday is 18th September and the current year is 2017.
1 + 8 + 9 = 18
1 + 8 = 9
Current year = 2 + 0 + 1 + 7 = 10
1 + 0 = 1
Finally add 9 + 1 = 10
1 + 0 = 1
This means that I am in the first stage/year of my cycle, which excited me very much because it’s the year of adventure, it’s the year of doing, of letting go of the past and starting new beginnings. I found a great description here.
You know how sometimes you need a sign, something to tell you that the things you’ve been pining over and plotting and scheming in your head are the right things to do? Well this was mine.
This time last year I was on a beach somewhere in Cambodia in the middle of a 5 month ‘jaunt’ around SE Asia working on my tan and devouring as many books as i possibly could (i did a great job on both FYI). And I had the time of my life, i met some great people, saw some incredible sunsets and have memories that will truly last me a lifetime. But, i came home to friends who were buying houses, getting engaged, getting promotions and ticking stuff off of that ‘things that you should be doing with your life’ list. And i thought fuck, is this what I should be aiming for? So i tried and i keep trying but it just doesn’t feel right, there’s always a little niggle in my chest, like i feel it physically, that this isn’t meant for me, not ‘not ever’ just not ‘right now’.
This adventure streak of mine popped up quite late in the game, I’m 30 years old now, so you can see why my mother is probably having mild panic attacks at me not being able to fit everything in in life that she think I’m supposed to. Don’t ask me what i spent my twenties doing…i was too drunk or high to remember, but it was fun – i can tell you that much. (Rereading this I’m not suggesting that 30 is old as fuck, but society LOVES to tell females that it is). I think i spent most of my twenties telling myself ‘next year, there’s always next year’ but I eventually became bored of that, I didn’t want to wait anymore, i wanted to do, to go, to see.
I tried to quash these voices, to shut em up, but now it feels like someone’s poking the sleeping adventure bear, who got all comfy and cosy and thought it was time to hibernate for another ten years. But now she’s waking and sitting up, rubbing her eyes and she’s asking ‘OK, what are we doing then?’.